The Atchison Family

New Year

2012-01-04T22:33:00.001-08:00

So I gave gone missing again but here are 4 reasons why.

Post Fail

2011-12-16T14:30:00.000-08:00

I have tried to no avail to get some of our family pics up from a recent little session we did. My friend, Leah, did a great job of trying to capture our family. I don't think #2 had a regular face in a single one of them. It reminded me of my brother who had his tongue out in most of our family pictures growing up. Needless to say as I soon as I can I will show the awesome talent of my friend.

Photo Card

2011-12-14T21:13:00.001-08:00

Mod Merry Ornaments Christmas

Click here to browse our Christmas photo card designs.

View the entire collection of cards.

Fun new app

2011-12-07T13:58:00.001-08:00

A Month of Gratefulness{Day 27}

2011-11-28T00:00:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for family time. I'm sad to have to go back to my other work tomorrow, but that's life.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 24}

2011-11-24T20:14:00.001-08:00

Today I'm thankful for boy #2. He is smarter than he appears, loves all animals, and a Lego maniac. He keeps us hopping and seemingly has no end of energy except today. After getting up to watch me run and playing hard he fell asleep on the couch ear phones on.

A Month of Gratefulness {day 23}

2011-11-23T20:18:00.001-08:00

Today I'm thankful for boy #1. He was the first to call me mommy. He is teaching me so much about being a better mom and a great mirror of my own sin.

A Month of Gratefulness {day 22}

2011-11-22T22:04:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for boy #4. He was unexpected but I can't imagine life without him. Tonight I write this while laying next to him. I love his sweet voice and is greeting when I come home. He's singing me a song as we speak.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 21}

2011-11-21T22:05:00.001-08:00

#3 was about to be 1 year old when this picture was taken.

Here he is tonight.

I guess I can include my kids now. I am thankful for boy #3. He is so happy, joyful, and full of laughter. He makes us crack up all the time. He is growing so much and learning so much. I mean the kid is smart! He is a bruiser and has the nickname Basher. I loves to be with his brothers and can hold his own in a wrestling match. Love this guy.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 19}

2011-11-20T21:12:00.001-08:00

I'm going to pretend that my life is put together enough that I did those previous days I missed. Are you saying I can't do that? Well, too bad because I just did...Ha!

Anyway, today I am thankful for boys that are asleep. I love my kids, but there are some days when bedtime is just wonderful. (she writes as I hear boy noises telling me that they are not in bed yet at 9:15pm) #4 learned to climb out of his crib so bed times have been interesting. I just decided last night to make his crib a toddler bed. Fun times here so when I see sweet boys with closed eyes and peacefully sleeping I love it. I relish it.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 15}

2011-11-15T22:31:00.001-08:00

Halfway through...tonight I am tired. I made myself run (almost completely) 5 miles on the treadmill. I am slowly building for a 10k next week and a half marathon (which you already know because I am super nervous and will tell you about 5 million times).

Tonight I am thankful for date nights with my husband. This doesn't mean we go...heavens we already spend too much on babysitting anyway. No these are the moments where he and I connect our hearts. It is great and when we are out of sync it is the best way to get us back in line together. Speaking of which...I better get off this dang computer and sit with my hubby.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 14}

2011-11-14T21:27:00.001-08:00

Two weeks....wow! I may pull this thing off yet. Today I am thankful for friends, old and new. as stated in a previous post I am a addict of relationships so friends are super important to me, but as a recovering addict of relationships I recognize now those relationships that are beneficial to my soul. There are a few people in my life that I would not be able to function without. There will be no naming of names because well, that just isn't nice. So yes, I am thankful for people who walk beside me and with me, who pray for me, who bless me with their presence and time, who reach to me when I want to hide and never let me get too far from seeing my Savior. I need them and hopefully the feeling is mutual.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 13}

2011-11-13T17:58:00.001-08:00

I woke up this morning thinking and feeling like I was going to have nothing to be grateful for today...It has been a really rough couple of days. I went to a great women's thingy yesterday. Right away though I was put in the fire to test what I have been learning not just yesterday, but for the past year and a half. It was intense and really hard. I found myself thinking I am a crazy person. The conversations in my head are tough. The questions I am asking God are hard and I am not to sure I will like the answers. ANYWAY, I have avoided starting to read this book because I knew that well, I would have to respond. Crazy, right? So the book is called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

In the first chapter alone I cried twice. I am only in the 2nd chapter, but God is slowly revealing that the best way to beat my craziness is to be thankful. So long story short, I will need to be thankful for something today just as a matter of taking a stand against the Enemy.

I am thankful for God's unfailing love and His tireless pursuit of me. He never let's me go even though I kick and scream sometimes. (ok really most of the time) A song that has been resonating with my heart recently is "One Thing Remains" My favorite part is:

"Your love never fails, it never give up, it never gives up on me."

At least there is one being I can depend on for loving beyond and in spite of my screw ups.

PS This is long, but amazing.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 11 and 12}

2011-11-12T18:09:00.001-08:00

Did you miss me yesterday? I make no apologies. It happens. Day 11, I am thankful for the gift of reading. Today I went with my boys to a book club. This month (week, really 3 days) we read Star of Light by Patricia St. John. We have a focus on Africa this month and this is the book that went along with that focus.

It was really good, but it really made me thankful that my boys can read. They have been given so many opportunities that many children around the world don't have.

Day 12, I am thankful for times when God teaches me. Today I was able to spend most of my time at a conference for women. It resonated with my heart. God created me. He loves me. He put all those intricacies that I call my personality there. Too many times I hear the lies of the Enemy. "You're not worth it. You're too much for people to handle. You're all alone. You're broken beyond repair. You have nothing of value to offer." These are all lies, lies, lies. In Christ I am a new creation. The old is gone and passed away. So my challenge after today is to focus on the truths of who Jesus says I am. Looks like I will be spending some time in God's word.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 10}

2011-11-10T22:57:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for days off. Can I get an Amen? I love my job, but there no greater joy than knowing I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Short and sweet folks....been a long day. There were 89 people at Real with Recovery and it was awesome...now on to get some sleep.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 9}

2011-11-09T12:50:00.000-08:00

The funny thing about writing every day is now my mind is full of posts. I blog while I am getting ready in the morning, while I am processing my morning of teaching, while I read my e-mail. I always felt I wasn't a writer, but perhaps I am becoming one. Not the "in a publish a book" type of writer though. I'll let my hubby do that one. :)

Again today's thankfulness comes with real life as well. I guess that is how it works for me. I hope though it helps you see my heart. For too long I hid my heart away, afraid of what I would see and what others would see if I truly allowed myself to be who I am without holding back. So today I am thankful for:

(cheesy I know)

I am not talking about the freedom I have to write whatever I want or the freedom to worship how I choose or the freedom to vote...(I am thankful for that too) NO I am talking about the freedom to BE who I am...who God created me to be. For most of my life I lived (and still do occasionally...well let me be honest...I'm still battling this urge) with the fear of rejection/inadequacy. Now you might be saying we all do. Yes, you are right, but mine was/is affecting my relationships with people and God in an unhealthy way. Here are some signs of my sickness. (This is a lot of reading, sorry)

-I have difficulty saying “no” when people ask me to do something, even when I know I should not do it.

-I feel I need cover up for irresponsible people in my life because I don't want them to suffer. I'd rather "fill in and help them" then see them get consequences. It's my job to assist them.

-I understand that it is my job to fix, manage and hold my family/relationship together.

-I work hard to be thoughtful and nice to others and get angry when they don't respond or reciprocate my efforts.

-I worry about how I make people feel. It directly affects my own feelings.

-When I get in close relationships, I change to try that please that person. I often "read" people to figure out how I should act.

-I don't like being alone. I need to be around others all the time.
These two don't seem to go together, but trust me they do.

-I am afraid of people. I need to isolate.

-Being "good to myself" is equivalent to selfishness

-Other people's needs always come before mine, even if it I have urgent needs and they do not

-In the areas of my life where I experience approval, I often become over-involved. In the areas of failure, I detach and withdraw.

-If something is not perfect I see it as a failure

-I become defensive when others point out my imperfections

-I often measure myself in accordance with other people. It leaves me feeling as if I'm "better" then others sometimes, and "worse" then others at other times.

-I feel very inadequate when people seem to "have it all together." I tend to avoid friendships with those type of people.

-Deep down inside, I don’t really like myself and don't want people to know the "real me"

-I tend to blame and criticize people and circumstances for my feelings.

-I have a hard time leaving relationships, even if they are unhealthy

-I have a difficult time asking people for help, even when it's necessary.
If I could double bold I would.
-I feel sometimes that if I don't do it myself, it will never get done right

-I find it difficult to speak what I truly feel or ask for what I need.
source
My sickness is called codependency...It is bondage, lose yourself kind of bondage. This previous year I experienced what it would be like to be healthy....it was freedom like I have never felt before.It is a freedom that comes from resting in Christ and His love for me. He accepts me for who I am, sin and all. I have more to say, but I will leave it at that.

Just kidding...real life. This week I am co-leading a group of people who have this same sickness...fear, worry and inadequacy fill my mind and heart. Help me Jesus, to rest in you and allow you to work in me and the people who have in our group. I realize that I can't do it all, but you have me in your hand and will give me all that I need to show them to you. Remind me that it isn't about me or how good I am or how well I speak, but only your saving grace.

Month of Gratefulness {Day 8}

2011-11-08T21:38:00.001-08:00

All right, today's post is part grateful yet real life too. I am thankful for a job that provides for my family and allows me to be with my family more so than other jobs.

Now real life....teaching kids is hard! Especially those who have a lot of ground to cover. I see so much potential in each of them. I believe in them. I see the good in them, but they have to see it themselves before much can happen. So I pray for them. Encourage them and sometimes cry for them.

I'm praying I survive this year and that they will learn too.

The joys of teaching...reading center, paper paper and more paper, stacks of teacher books.

Month of Gratefulness {Day 7}

2011-11-07T22:35:00.001-08:00

My first blog from my phone! Crazy?! So if it weird you know why. Tonight I am thankful for four little boys who make me crazy yet keep me laughing.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 6}

2011-11-06T15:10:00.000-08:00

Do you mind if I share two things? Good, because really you have no choice. I am the author here.

I am thankful for cold, rainy days. It provides the opportunity to light a fire, where sweaters, and drink hot cocoa. It can be difficult to keep boys occupied without going outside, but today I am thankful for it. I would love to eat a bowl of soup from Panera and sit with a good book.

I am also thankful for a new ministry that is starting this week, Nov. 10th from 7-9 pm at Sandals Church. (is that a plug or what?) My husband is the head of this ministry which is....a recovery ministry for addicts and those that love them (codependents). I am thankful for a couple of reasons. #1 it is something that we get to do together. #2 We will get to see God do something amazing in people and heal them. I look forward to it.

If you are interested you can email realwithrecovery@sandalschurch.com

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 5}

2011-11-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

I will be honest. Most days I am not thankful for little cars....those are the days where I inadvertently step on one with my bare feet or I am constantly picking them up after already picking them up. Today though, today, I am thankful for them. I always wanted to be a mom of boys and I am. Boys are fun. Boys are messy. Boys love cars. Can you tell which movie we watched last night? I am thankful for having cars all over my house because it reminds me that I am a mom of 4 wonderful boys who love cars.

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 4}

2011-11-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

I must admit that I never thought that I would ever say the following, I am grateful for running. I have never considered myself a runner, but after this summer and fall, I find that I need this in my life. It gives me a way to run the stress of life off and I get to spend some undisturbed moments with myself. Usually God meets me there and it is wonderful. Just this week I went the the YMCA and pounded out 3 miles. It felt GREAT! Currently I am preparing for a 10K on Thanksgiving with my sister-in-law and for a half marathon in January with Team World Vision. There is a lot of fear going into this. I am afraid of failing. I so badly want to be that person who just whips out 6 miles no problem, but the reality is when I finish at whatever time it is, I will have finished the race. Again, I am grateful for running and having the ability to run.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" 2 Timothy 4:7

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 3}

2011-11-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

You thought it would be the kids next right....Nope! I like to keep you on your toes. So I must admit.

I AM AN ADDICT! I love Dr. Pepper. It is like calmnesss in a can. I need help. In all seriousness, I am working on cutting down the soda intake. BUT I am thankful for this wonderful can of goodness.

source

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 2}

2011-11-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

Again, so glad that I am doing this. It is coming at a time where I am facing some mighty big giants. It reminds me of how the Israelites were always having to be reminded of God's goodness, like parting the Red Sea or providing food in a desert. Anywho...I am thankful for my husband...expected right, but I really am. This is a picture of him at the beginning of redoing our wood floors. On this project alone he spent 36 hours of hard labor to make them look amazing. He has sacrificed much and given much especially the past year or so. He helps me not be so crazy and is one of the most caring people I know. He inspires me to love like Jesus does and well, I am not so great at that. He is a wonderful father too. I love him and can't wait to spend another ____ years to come with him.

****Reminder to self....proofread all posts before you publish, sheesh!****

A Month of Gratefulness {Day 1}

2011-11-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

My "Holy Cow" and I

I refuse to skip Thanksgiving and go right to Christmas as so many stores are already doing. I NEED to remember what I am thankful for. It causes to me to think beyond the temporal and to the things that really matter. So in an effort to improve my attitude, get in the spirit of the month, and up my blogging, I will be giving thanks for something every day this month.

#1 As cliche as this may sound, I am thankful for my relationship with Jesus....He has carried me through a lot of stuff these past two years. I have grown to know Him deeper and He isn't scared or shocked by what He sees. That is important for someone who is scared to let it all hang out there for fear of rejection. I love that I don't have to fear that with Him because He loves me. I literally don't know where I would be or what I would be without Him. He gives me hope when I have none. He gives me strength when I am powerless. He gives me compassion when I would rather not love. He gives me grace when I screw up (on a regular basis). He loves me when I am at my worst. Most importantly, He died so I could live.

Boys and Life

2011-10-25T16:47:00.000-07:00

For whatever reason, I am loving this picture of myself. #1 is because my 3 year took it. #2 it was at a park where my kids were playing a goofy game of father may I (our friend's dad was in charge) and it was hilarious. #3 I look relaxed.
Life has been a little crazy and not in a bad way always, but none the less crazy. I have actually gone days without even getting near my computer except for work. So I am going to give you a snippet of what we have been up to.

My oldest boys are being home schooled this year (yes I am still working....a little crazy) So we went with some of our dear friends and ventured into Oak Glen. I praise the Lord I already had a "whatever" type of attitude because it was an adventure. I loved it. It was a little hotter than I like, but it was a welcome to fall. Here are the boys taking the obligatory picture for their mother. #4 is now 2 #2 is 6 #3 is 3 1/2 and #1 is 9 1/2. Cheesy smiles...
A couple of week my father in law came and worked around our house. He graciously made the boards to go around my garden so I can have a raised bed garden this next year. I also had to promise to deliver the tomatoes. Well, as you can see my boys see this as a giant mud pit. They dug a hole and filled it with water. It was a moment I could have freaked out and made them take baths immediately, but I chose to allow the moment to happen. (my husband was out that evening and it was just me) See how they are working together. I love it. I pray that they will learn how to be good friends and work together more often. There is something special about having a brother by your side especially when you are in the mud.

Here is a picture of all clean boys veggin' on the couch. (yes new couch...the other was nasty and it needed to go) This is how my boys spend a lot of time, in their underwear....which is less laundry for me :)

Our time as family is growing and I love watching them grow up yet I tend to mourn that sweet preschool time. #1 is an upper grader now...wow! #2 is reading so well...amazing! #3 can dress himself and match most of the time...awesome! #4 is starting to talk more and says things like "hi, mommy when I get him in the morning...precious!

My goal of late is to be a better mom...be in the moment...be present...lay down my agenda...surrender to God moving in my life....relax....love life....

What about you? What are you up to lately?

The Art of Fort Making

2011-09-20T16:09:00.000-07:00

My husband and I were out one Friday evening for a date. While were gone our boys decided to make a fort. I must say that I was impressed with the durability of this one. It was so comfy that the older boys slept in it. We decided to not move them. They should get to enjoy the fruit of their hard work. Pay no attention to the condition of the couch. I can happily say that it is gone now and served us well (7 years for a very cheap couch). What cute brothers!

The back of the fort. See, pretty creative don't you think?

Boys and forts....so much fun...most of the time :)

First Day of School 2011-2012

2011-09-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

This year we are trying something new with school. These boys have attended my school, but after some deliberation and hard decision making we are homeschooling them. Yes, I am still working and yes it is hard and we are still figuring it out, but let me say I already love it. (it is by no means the ideal, but we are learning to work with what we have) They go to a learning center two days a week. They have classes like life science, karate, computers, step up to writing, lego league, art (meet the masters), and some other fun things. They are learning lots. It will be an interesting year, but I think we might survive. (might....) I will keep you posted on how it goes.

Checking their schedules and seeing which line to line up in.

Laundry Races

2011-09-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

Where have we been? Well, we have been doing laundry basket races of course. There is nothing more fun than using these baskets for everything but laundry. So #1 and #3 raced #2 and #4. On your mark, get set,GOOOOO!!!!!!!The drivers were having a good time as long as the race was clean and safe (no baskets toppling over)

Keeping it Real Again

2011-08-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

This month has been a really tough one in many aspects. I have not faced harder life issues ever. Through it all my hope is to be real with my family and my friends. So when I am a mess, I admit it. When I'm not able to be perfect (who is?), I admit it. I fail frequently and ask for forgiveness when I do. My problem comes when I look at others and think how do they do it. I stole this from this blog.

I love it. We all are screwed up and messed up in some way. No one has it all together. Life is not about having it all together, but depending on the Giver of Life when humans mess up and hurt us or cause us harm. I'm so thankful that I don't have to have it all together....because I don't.

Keeping it Real

2011-08-29T03:45:00.000-07:00

Just in case you had any questions about the fact that I am raising boys, here is photographic eveidence of their boyish ways. :)

A dip in the Ocean/ #1 gets baptized

2011-08-28T15:00:00.001-07:00

So last weekend my oldest son was baptized. Let me explain what that means. The act itself does not guarantee that he is on his way to Heaven. It is a symbolic act showing what has been done with the heart. It is also why we don't baptize our children as infants. According to our tradition it is done after you have made the decision to follow Christ. Last summer, he made a decision to let God be in control of his life. It means that he recognized that there was nothing good in him unless it came from God. It was a special time to see him start to gain understanding of what it means to be a Christian. Adam and I believe that each of our children must make that decision on their own. We do not prompt them, but are open to answer questions and respond to what their hearts are feeling. This year our church, Sandals church, had their annual beach baptism. It was so amazing. Over 200 people did the symbolic act of baptism saying that want to follow God with all their hearts. Does this mean they are perfect and won't mess up? NO!!! For some reason people tend to think that Christians are perfect and that couldn't be further from the truth. The fact is we are doing the best we can relying on God to help us make the right decisions. We also know that God has sent his perfect son to die and cover all of our imperfections. It seems completely unfair and not right, but God loved/s us too much to allow us to die in our sins with no hope and purpose. I pray that my boys will learn to lean and develop the relationship with God. In all honesty it is the one thing that gives me hope when life seems to be in a downward spiral. My own efforts never amount to much, but when I work with God I find that I have the strength and clarity to make it through. Anyway, here are the pics.

Dad got to baptize him in the Pacific Ocean at Corona Del Mar.
It was cold, but good. (sorry about the guy in the pic, but you take what you get)

We spent the rest of the day enjoying the beach with friends and family. It was a great day.
Here is a funny video of #4 enjoying the waves.

Spending time at the "lake"

2011-07-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have recieved a lot of questions about my summer happenings. "What have you been up to this summer?" Besides our long trek across country, we have kept it close to home. Days going the the pool, library, spending time with friends, but just local.
Because of that my boys have created a "lake" in our yard and spend some time there. How you may ask? Well, it starts off with an already huge hole they have dug on the side. #1 though started a river that flowed to the lake so here is the process.

#1 get a good source of water#2 have it stream down a good canal (it runs next to the flowers)#3 have a nice hole for it to land in#4 Build a ledge for those who want to play in it but not get too wet to sit or be like #4 and just throw some dirt in.#2 loves this lake. He is constantly in it, around it, much to my washing machine's demise

#4 is the other one who loves it (They all love it just some more than others)

His affinity to dirt is quite amazing. He loves dirt. He plays in it, rolls in it, eats it (j/k for the most part). He enjoys watching things splash as well so when the hole dries up we find things like shirts, shoes, toys, and anything else he might have found in the area.
So nothing major...no trips to Hawaii or even exciting places here in Cali. Just some boys and some mud. God is teaching me that these are the things they will remember. It doesn't have to be flashy, but fun with the family.

Avoider

2011-07-24T14:24:00.000-07:00

I often time will avoid blogging. There are multiple reasons for this, but the biggest being that I don't really feel like what I have to say is worth reading or that people even want to read what I have to say....

Yes, I admit, I am a people pleaser. Have been most of my life. It is something that I am working on overcoming, but it rears its head every now and then and almost cripples my ability to see worth and value in me.

God has been working with me on this one though. You see, He thinks I am of extreme worth to Him. So much so that He was willing to suffer and die in my place. There aren't many people (really anyone) who is up for that. The fact that he died allows me to get something I don't even deserve or comprehend, a life full of love and hope.

Love, the God kind is amazing and incomprehensible. This last week I had to be reminded of this love. It isn't an ordinary love or a love we see in movies. It is a loves that outlasts time, wrongs, and forgives all the time. What?!? ALL THE TIME and it forgets about the what was done.

He loves with an everlasting love.

So what happens when I forget.....

I start to compare myself to others...

I become discontent with what I have....

I get in a funk...

I don't love others because I am not connected to the source of love...

All my junk comes pouring out....

It isn't pretty and definitely not my best self.

Lord, forgive me the times I put myself first and begin to not see how you love me even in my cracked and broken self. Help me to keep my eyes set on you, the one who gives me love, strength, and hope. Thank you for never leaving me or abandoning me. Your daughter, who is walking in your grace, me.

Mow the Lawn or Cut the Grass?

2011-07-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

So far I have picture of every boy before him doing this same thing. I don't know what it is, but they love to help their daddy cut the grass (mow the lawn). It is usually when they are going through the "push something" phase, but as you can see #3 still wanted to get in on the action. This shot is sentimental though because we have a picture of Adam and his dad doing the exact same thing.

"Look at me mom!"
"this is hard work!"

"I'll help you out dad."

how many men does it take to mow the lawn (cut the grass)?

An almost 6yr old and a camera

2011-07-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

He is almost 6 (in one month).
I have gotten my point and shoot camera back in the game lately. Reason #1 is Adam needed a camera for his Israel trip and reason #2 I don't want to take my nice camera to the beach. All that to say this camera was laying around and #2 got his hands on it. Here are some examples of life through his eyes.

Daddy studying LatinOur beagle, Hershey, as well as the laundry waiting to be folded

And you know important things like mac and cheese. My boys grab this at least 10 times a day because they think this is the only food they want to eat.

#4 with a big smile

and a self portrait because it's funny to see yourself with your tongue sticking out

He also took it to church....without permission....he did get some good pics, but man oh man this kid....

Beach

2011-07-10T23:13:00.000-07:00

After breakfast we headed to Doheny (sp?) State Beach. We had a great time there. My SIL had a little EZ up that had a partial back to it. It was perfect for shade. I had my umbrella, but it kept being blown down my the sea breeze.

#4 was enjoying the shade and a truck. That seems to be all he has in his hand lately. I also didn't bother to put on his swim suit. It seemed rather pointless. These two stole the show. This is my nephew the Cster and #4 playing in the sand. I kept bringing bucket of water to make the sand wet for them to use. I would occasionally pour some on one of them. I got very different responses. Cster would smile and enjoy it where as #4 would scream and say "no, no"

#3 hiding trying to get warm after going in the ocean...I kind of wanted to do this myself unfortunately I had to be a responsible parent.

Aunt Cindy and #4 chillaxin' in the shade

The Cousins enjoying the sun.

Adam talking to someone

I was so excited because my boys got a surfing lesson from Uncle Jeff and Aunt Sarah. They loved it. I want to learn to surf myself, but I want to learn in Hawaii where the water is warm. Guess I am not that anxious to learn :)

#1 and Aunt Sarah waiting for a wave (they weren't that great that day so it was a perfect day to learn)

#2 learning is a little shallower water

We had a good time. In my opinion any day at the beach is a good day. I will say that beach was a little rocky. I am on a mission to get to as many beaches as I can on the coast. Who knows where else we might go this summer.

Summer

2011-07-10T22:44:00.001-07:00

I LOVE Summer!!!! It is by far my favorite season. #1 reason is that I am off and get to spend the quality time with my family. This summer it seems we have done a lot of extended family on the front end of things. Adam's aunt and cousins came from Arkansas to spend some time with us and his sister this last week. We had a blast. I was able to fulfill my craving (if you can call it that) for cards and playing games. There was of course the traditional trek to Laguna Beach to eat at Las Brisas. This place is super sentimental because it was where we would go with Adam's Grandpa Day. He has sensed passed on so now we continue to go for the memories. After a wonderful breakfast (the omelet bar is my favorite) we go outside and take the traditional family pics.

The Atchisons

(extended version)

Our Family

(#3 was not to excited about getting pictures taken...he was ready to go to the beach)

This is my nephew Cster. He is new to walking and I love how he keeps his hands up for balance.Cousin T and #4 were good buds. (notice the car in his hand...yeah..we're at that stage in his life)
"Hmmm....how can I cause trouble so they will want to get me out of here and take me to the beach?"

This by far was my favorite picture from Laguna. I love the stair steps of little boy heads.

Wedding Again

2011-07-02T12:22:00.001-07:00

The worst and best part of a wedding are the pictures. I am always glad we take so many, but when you have four boys who would rather climb on a tractor well, it just isn't fun. This is one of the best family pictures we got. Not everyone is looking, but at least most of us are smiling.

Because my boys were in the wedding we got to be with the "boys" while they took their pictures on the golf course. It was quite fun to see my brother who HATES pictures (no lie his tongue was out in everyone we ever took as a kid or he was making some funny face) really rise to the occasion and be okay with it all. My boys did a bit of waiting.

"Let me push my brother around a little bit" Here they are being sweet or is it "I have you and you can't escape"

Hard to tell.
There there is my super cool one who was loving it all.Uncle Caleb and the nephews. They love him.This is us walking to the wedding site. Notice it was a forest. Middle of nowhere, Wisconsin. So beautiful.

And finally, the brother/sister picture. I love my brother. He is so sweet, kind, loving, annoying, tortuous,...well, I could go on and on. He is now a husband to a wonderful wife and I can't wait to see their family grow (hint, hint:))

Oklahoma Skies

2011-06-28T09:11:00.001-07:00

One of the things I love/miss the most are the Oklahoma skies. They are absolutely beautiful. The sunsets are beautiful. Even the storm clouds are beautiful. One night while we were there I went outside to find a storm coming are way (it actually went around us). The sky was a portrait of God. I love the light and dark contrast.

These were a little worrisome (tornado clouds), but that is why us Okies always go and check the skies when we are on the watch. That is the joke. The weatherman says there is a tornado coming and we all go out to the porch and watch.

The rain is coming, but not really.

I was super sad that I didn't get a real good shake your windows kind of thunder. I did get some rain in Wisconsin, but it wasn't Oklahoma.

Some more wedding photos

2011-06-27T12:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess I was a bad photographer. This happens a lot. I get in the moment and don't pick up my camera. I didn't take many photos from the wedding or reception. I also realized that I copied a bunch for my dad and it actually took it off my camera. So there are some good family ones, but it will have to wait.

Here was the sign outside of the reception place.This is where the reception was. It was a blast. I love to dance and I was able to get my boogie on. Luckily I was never short of partners.

Here is my mom showing off her outfit for the wedding.

Here are my parents looking good.

Here is one of the boys.

The Wedding

2011-06-22T16:03:00.001-07:00

This last weekend I got to participate and watch my little brother get married. It was in Wisconsin on Amber's (my brother's new wife, and my new sister in law) family's tree farm. It was a perfect day. It was supposed to rain and not a drop was had. So here are some pictures by Anna Page Photography. She did an amazing job.

My brother, Caleb, so happy. Amber was absolutely gorgeous.Beautiful!

The bike props were great. They are a very active couple and use these bikes a lot...or I assume they do. I know my brother brought them up for the pictures.

My brother adores his nephews and was very happy to have them in his wedding. This is #1 who was a junior groomsman.

Here is wedding setting. The tree thing (technical term I am sure) was built by my brother and Dad. I loved all the fresh flowers and bright colors.

Here is #3 ready to ring the bell. The fiddle/violin was my cousin's who played for the wedding.

My brother and his groomsmen. A couple of these guys were my other brothers. They were always over. It was fun to see them and get to hang with my brother's friends.

Here is the crew with my boys too.

#1 pulled #3 and #4 down the aisle.

They stole the show.

#2 was the ring bearer. Look how handsome he is!

My Dad did the honors of marrying the two. It was a special moment.

(I sang, but I don't have a picture of that and Adam got to share a special word too)

More pictures to come from my own camera or my dad's. Rehearsal was pretty fun as well as the reception. Let's just say we got our boogie on.

Fishing?

2011-06-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

So #2 has talked non stop about fishing because of all the rivers/lakes we have seen. We have informed him that we did not bring our equipment therefore we could not go fishing. He would then explain that we could get a stick and spear a fish just like the Native Americans did. Our place we are staying is right on a lake. One of the first things these kiddos did with parental supervision of course was head right down to the water. I soon saw my hubby grabbing a stick and getting something from the water. That's right folks they caught a fish, a dead fish, but a fish.

#2 was in heaven. Look at his pose. He was so proud he couldn't keep the smile in. It's a northern pike for those of you wondering.

Traveling

2011-06-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

Our family just spent three days in the car driving 2,051 miles.

We saw a lot of this and this.
Amazingly, our children are pretty good travelers. From a very young age we have tortured, I mean given them the privilege of spending time together in a car. My family lives in Oklahoma so we have gone back and forth for many, many years.

#4 talking to his brother

#3 I caught a precious expression

#1 trying to spend some quality time with his DS

#2 playing with dinosaurs

The reality is that even though they are good travelers they reach their limits as well.

#3 is ready to be out and running around. He is not used to being confined for so long.

Family

2011-06-16T08:57:00.001-07:00

So my family is in Wisconsin for my brother's wedding. Here is my family: Brother, me, Dad, mom. My California friends don't get to see us all together so here they are. See, there is some tallness in my family, just not from me. (the hat was necessary FYI, travel crazy curly hair)

Breakfast

2011-06-10T16:49:00.000-07:00

This picture is hilarious to me. I think at one point I might have cried, but anymore I take life as it comes. These last few days have been pretty busy for us. Today we had a garage sale. I had already given #3 and #4 breakfast, but I guess #4 was still hungry. He climbed/reached up on the counter to grab these. He was a happy camper eating his cheerios and watching some Sesame Street. Aye yi yi...these boys. So funny.

How to,,,{keep boys entertained}

2011-06-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

Materials needed: one blower, 3 boys (and one to watch from the window while he finishes his dinner) Steps 1: Turn on and blow into your brother's face.

Step 2: Show the world your crazy hair. (this boy needs a haircut, but we are waiting to see if Uncle Caleb wants it long for his wedding)

Step 3: Fill your shirts with air and pretend that you have large muscles.

Adam and I were watching this from the window. Our first inclination was to tell them no, but really no harm was being done and they had a blast.

I am learning that with boys you have to let some (many) things go.

On to First Grade

2011-06-07T03:46:00.000-07:00

The end of the school year has come and while I very excited to have a summer full of free family time, I am grieving the growing of my children. #1 will be a 4th grader and #2 will be in 1st grade. Anyway, as I wipe my tears away, here are some end of the year pics from the Kinder program.

#2 and #3 are really great buds.

He was so great at all the motions. I was impressed. He may be our performer.

Look at that face! Hilarious!

Friends

2011-06-06T03:39:00.000-07:00

This year has been one of the best years at work. At least for me it has. I love spending time with these people. They are fun and you can only imagine what conversations we have at lunch. Thanks guys for spending time with me and loving me. (there are a few people missing from this picture)

On a field trip with the fifth graders.

Great Expressions

2011-06-05T15:37:00.001-07:00

Not the best picture, but I love that face.

Marriage Mondays in May {Anniversary}

2011-05-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

The main reason I came up with the idea of Marriage Mondays in May was because our anniversary is this month. May 27th to be exact. I was so impressed with my husband. I felt that our time together was a true testimony to how God has changed us and molded our marriage to mirror the relationship we have with Him. Anyway, I was totally unaware of the plans. I was told to expect something, but I figured it was just dinner out. I was so wrong. We started the evening in Laguna on a secluded beach (which is hard to find). He had prepared appetizers for us to enjoy as we sat and watched the sunset. It was so peaceful. I love the beach.

Here is the picnic goodies. It was so amazing and spoke right to my heart. Everything was so nice.
I actually got a good picture of us.

Moments before the sunset.

After the sun finally went down, I was taken to dinner at a beachfront place. It was so nice to see the ocean and enjoy the company of my best friend.

This my dinner view. After dinner he took me to the Hyatt. I was so surprised. It was the best anniversary by far. He did well.

Thanks Babe for a wonderful night!

What Can I DO?

2011-05-25T03:41:00.000-07:00

When I was living in a town called Pampa, TX, my mom took on a task of redoing some dressers. These dressers were hers from the time she was a little girl and had many layers of dirt and stain. I watched her wear rubber gloves and strip the dresser of all these layers. I was completely amazed by the process. I distinctly remember being told to not touch the chemicals she was using or I would get burned or hurt. Once the messy part was done she was able to restore the dresser to the original color and grandeur. I currently have one of these in my boys' room.

I feel like that dresser. God has taken me on a journey. He has stripped me of all the things I claimed I was or wanted to be. Sometimes, I would get hurt, but the hurt led to healing. He is showing me how he made me to be ME. Not only how he made me to be me, but that it is OK to be me.

The reason this is so important to me is because for too long I have done different tasks because it was expected of me or because I could do it. I filled needs that were not mine to fill. I took on roles that weren't mine to take on. Through the journey I stripped myself of those feelings. I need to know that I was OK even if I didn't do a single darn thing. I had to take myself out of everything. There was a time for that, but now I am ready to take on what God has called me to. I have been very cautious with this, but know that when you are in the place that God has called you there is freedom, joy, and a contentment, something I long for.

The trick in all of this is knowing that what I have is just as great as someone else's. I have to fight the comparing curse. Too many times I find myself longing for someone else's gifts or talents, but I am realizing that I need to be who I am and that is OK.

Here is a video of what I am trying to say....

Micah Bournes :: What Can I Do? from Antioch Church on Vimeo.

Marriage Mondays in May {Perspective}

2011-05-23T16:03:00.000-07:00

Never Would've Asked from Antioch Church on Vimeo.

I think enough was said.

Marriage Mondays in May {Be their Cheerleader}

2011-05-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

A little late, but the Mr. got back from Israel today and we spent our day catching up. He is now safely tucked in bed, trying to get back on our time so he can manage the house tomorrow while I go back to work. So since he is asleep, I stole some of his pictures. I have no idea what places he is at in these pictures, but they were good to show who he is. For instance, here is my intellectual man thinking of some deep theological truth. :) or he is just being his silly self. I trait I love about him. He is deep one second and then a thirteen year old the next. So today I thought I would mention another key to a healthy and happy marriage. This pertains to wives (sorry men). It is simple and sweet. Be their biggest cheerleader. Before you say without thought or reflection that you are, I want you to think about it. Are you your husband's biggest cheerleader or do you say "great babe, but what about.....?" I know I often will. I blaze right by and point out the one thing he could of done better even if he did 10 things right. By doing that I am working against the very thing I want in him. He loses confidence and begins to think that he can't measure up.

Again we want to say "but you mean I can't say anything at all...?" There may be a time and a place, but in all honesty I am finding that the less I say and the more I turn my husband over to God, the more I see him fulfill his leadership role. Weird how it works that way, but it does. So ladies, my advice is to be quiet, praise and thank him for the good he does, and pray for the things you wish were different.

And just for fun....Can you believe he found this there? I guess I can go to Israel seeing how they have my drink/addiction.(BTW how sweet that he thought of me and took this picture)

#3 is Three!!!

2011-05-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

This child was by far the roughest delivery of them all. We already knew that we were on the lookout for an enlarged kidney, but once he was born he was in respiratory distress. It was so scary. I got to hold him for all of 45 seconds then they whisked him away to NICU. Those were the toughest three days. He is the most precious little boy though. His name means Happy and he lives up to it. He is goofy and thrives on making people laugh. Life is funny to him. I can't even imagine what it would be like to not have him in our family. He brings a joy and merriment that is life giving.

Here he is just a few days old.His first birthday!His second birthday!!! (look at his hair)His third birthday! Look how grown up he is! I will admit I get a little teary eyed to see him looking so boyish. He is such a handsome gentleman and a mama's boy too.

Happy Birthday #3....you are a precious gift from God.

Marriage Mondays in May {date night}

2011-05-09T21:07:00.001-07:00

You thought I would forget. You were hanging on the edge of your seat wondering when will I will post. Thank you to my 5 faithful readers :) Life sometimes gets the better of me and I disappear because blogging is something that I can cut. BUT boys are in bed, husband is out of country, and I need an outlet.

Because my husband is out of country this post seemed super important for me to post. I am missing him terribly. Over the past year or so we have really upped the ante for what "good" means in a marriage. One of the main reasons is our almost nightly "date night". Hold the phone!!! Yes, we have a date night almost every night. We don't go out every night. No, no, no...our budget does not allow for that. We do make it priority to sit with each other and have a "date". What that means for us is lighting a candle, having a drink (usually a DP for me), and maybe a snack. We're very clear with expectations for the night because as you know they are a minefield. We don't talk business, but rather about our hearts and where we are at. Some nights, I do most of the talking. Other nights, he does the talking. They can last from 15 minutes to 2 hours. In the beginning they were more like 15 minutes and the Mr. was not too into it. It seemed too fabricated. The reality was that it was, but now he is one of the loudest voices declaring the goodness of having date nights.

There is nothing magical about it, but it provides the time and space for us to reconnect and join forces once again against the Enemy who wants to do nothing more than destroy our marriage. So my challenge for you is to do this with your spouse at least twice a week. Make the effort to stay awake or put the kids to bed. It will change your marriage.

Strange photo to put on the marriage post, but I was thinking it takes all of us working together to make it work well, and we have to be pushing the same way together unlike these kiddos who worked again each other. Often times that what husbands and wives do. We work against each other, when we should be working side by side. OK enough with the cheesiness. :)

Blog Remodel?

2011-05-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

I am contemplating a little blog redo. I see so many creative ways to design a blog when I read though my google reader. I love the Japanese tape and vintage loveliness. Unfortunately, I am not knowledgeable about anything to do with web design. I also wonder is it even worth it. I mostly blog as an outlet for myself to share about my what happens in our crazy family. Should I venture on to the next level? I also have been wondering about starting a teaching blog. What do you think?

Here are some examples of cute blog headers....(I included their link so you can check them out too)

Marriage Mondays in May

2011-05-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

Marriage is on my brain because this past weekend my husband and I participated in a mini-marriage retreat with some people who have been walking with us in the journey. Our 11th wedding anniversary is this month too. I also love alliteration so why not make Mondays this month dedicated to marriage.

Marriage is hard! (can I get an Amen!) So it is good every once in awhile to reflect on why you chose to enter that sacred union in the first place. This last weekend that was one of the activities we had to do and one of the most meaningful for me. We had to write a letter to our spouse to describe what we loved about them when we first met them, and what were the qualities that attracted us to them in the first place. Adam and I have been married long enough and had enough life happen (i.e. 4 boys, job, school, moves, etc.) to allow the fondness of those memories to fade. I was reminded of those things that drew me to my husband and now they often times are the very things that drive me nuts. Yet, I love that he is the way he is. I told him that he gives me a more complete picture of who God is and how God loves people. You see, Adam and I are opposites. I am sure people thought how are they going to make it work, but as the years have gone by I realize that we need each other to provide balance in our relationship with each other and the world around us. We are the two sides of a coin which means together we are perfect. (not really, we are human after all)

What has caused us to survive these years and the hard places we have come through is the commitment we have to one another. Very early on we were told some days would be wow days and others would be vow days. I praise God that over the years they are becoming more WOW! days. Again, this is not easy and I am still learning how to die to myself and serve my husband as Christ served the church. I mean, that it was marriage is supposed to represent, the intimate covenant that Christ has with us, his Church.

I want to encourage you that if you are struggling, if your marriage has not turned out the way it was supposed to, there is hope. Hope comes from trusting God with your spouse, with turning to Jesus to meet the unmet needs. It comes from confiding in other couples who are making it. It comes from each spouse dying to their wants and desires, considered each other better than themselves. Is it easy? No, but so worth it.

I can't help but laugh at myself...Friday's post was very hopeless and today's post is hopeful. I am a fickle girl or God has given me some hope to carry me through. I am thankful that hopeless days don't last too long.

A Look Into My Heart

2011-04-29T03:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I will actually post this, but I need a place to pull up a chair and spill. So pretend we are great friends and we are sharing stories/lives over a mice warm cup of coffee with a yummy treat. If you are reading this then I have become brave enough to voice my "real" self with you. A treat not often shared with many.

I chose this picture to represent what life can be like at times, our boots and jeans get a little muddy with the "dirt" happening. It can weigh us down and even when our minds know how good we have it and how blessed we are, our heart feels heavy with the burdens we bear.

I have been having one of those weeks where my heart is heavy. There are many reasons to explain this, but nothing really seems to match the actual heaviness that is there. I feel like screaming "I GIVE UP". Nothing seems to go as planned, nothing seems to come out right, nothing seems to be moving. I'm stuck in transition. People, primarily my husband, encourages me that it will not be this way forever, but I have been waiting a really long time for change to come. This year I have seen major progress in the emotional health of myself and my husband, but there are areas where I am praying and begging God to move, it seems like He can't hear me.

Now please know my head is screaming at my hear, "THAT IS NOT TRUE". I know the truth of God and God's word, but my heart can't seem to hear or feel it right now. I even have recent examples of God coming through in a time of need, but I am weak. My faith is weak and my response in these times is to accept the fact that nothing changes. Therefore when something does change I can be elated and surprised. I accept them as they are because it prevents the hurt and pain that comes with the hope. No one likes to hurt or be hurt so we come up with ways to deal with life. This is how I deal...I am relearning, but old habits die hard. I end up surrendering to life and stop fighting the battle.

Part of me know that I need to stop fighting and let God fight for me, but how does that really work? Where does my part and His part meet or one take over the other? Where does my responsibility end?

So there I am warts and all. I want desperately the space to free my brain, but as y'all know, life goes on. There are 5 people who need my love and attention. There are 21 students who need their teacher. There are bills to pay and a house to clean. Space will come somehow and someway, but it won't be the warm beach I need with the massive sunset :)

****Since I wrote this, I have found that my head is getting to a better place. I know that it was because of the prayers of friends, and a conversation with Adam to help me balance my thoughts a little. There are people in far worse situations than I so please excuse my ranting and raving about "poor little me", but a girl can have an occasional pity party right?****

Bubbles

2011-04-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

Life little joys are what makes the memories. This year our egg hunt had a bubble machine. The boys loved it. #4 in particular thought it was fun to run through the bubbles. #2 thought it was fun to pop the bubbles.

Updated Blog Roll

2011-04-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

It seems too small to mention, but I wanted to point out that I have added some blogs that I read on a regular basis through google reader. Some are food, some are decorating, some are just life blogs. Just thought I would mention it.

Embrace the Camera

2011-04-27T03:20:00.000-07:00

I was unable to get to this last week, but I made sure to get one this week. This is #3 and I on a train. He is taking me to Disneyland. Do you see how he is making the train noises? BTW, I need pictures like these to remind of his sweet person. The three year old independence has begun. Lord, help us.

It's Back

2011-04-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

When #1 turned 5, he received a battery powered quad from Grandma and Papa. It was so much fun and has lasted a long time. Sometime this fall though, after several years of use, it decided it needed a break. Translation: it stopped going. Papa was bound and determined to get that quad up and running for his "little buddies". It needed a new battery, simple fix. Now it has been returned to its home in the backyard and another brother is learning how to use this monster. (Heaven help us) The boys are re-enjoying this gift all over, but I am afraid my garden "fence" has not survived day 2 of riding. Now I am hoping that these plants will survive. #3 is not the safest driver :)

The Family Picture

2011-04-25T17:47:00.000-07:00

This was round 2 of family pictures. The first round was not good. It is so hard to get 6 people to look all at the same place. This is the best we could do. It is funny to see this picture of us. My kids are getting older and I guess, by default, I am too. I think about the pictures of my parents when I was little. They were so old to me and wise. I look at myself and see the same me, but supposedly I know more and should have it more together. Do I feel wise? Do I feel old? None of this and yet, I know my kids will think the same of me. So there is no having it together here....just plugging along praying for God's grace in my life and the lives of my kids. Hope you had a great Easter.

Easter- Learn to Love

2011-04-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

What are your plans? If you are local come join my awesome church, Sandals. If your not local, you can stream it on livestream. Technology is wonderful. I am so excited to see what it means to truly love people like Jesus does. I will be there most of the time so find me and I can help you find where you need to go.

Directions:

All pictures were borrowed from www.sandalschurch.com

Good Morning Face

2011-04-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

Trying to capture that first moment, but as soon as he saw the camera he said "cheese".

Almost every morning I walk in to a little boy who says an enthusiastic high-pitched "hi". He is so happy when he wakes up, it is too cute. He is growing up too fast for me. I love this kid.

A Boys' World I Live In

2011-04-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

Lately, I have been contemplating the boy world I live in. I rarely do girly stuff like get my nails done or even go shopping just because it's fun. I love my boys and wouldn't trade them for anything. I have heard time and time again that boys are easier, but there still is a part of me wondering what would having a girl have been like. At least I would have another multi-tasker in the bunch. Perhaps someone who would inspire me to paint my nails more often or be more "girly".

Instead we conduct experiments like turning water green and then playing in it...all the while in our underwear. Perhaps we can even taste the green water.

Of course there needs to be splashing to make the best possible mess there can be.

Even the youngest knows that is what he's supposed to do.

At least one in the bunch knew he needed to clean off his feet before entering the house.

Then we moved on to building and creating a train track, no playing dolls or having tea parties here.

Perhaps I have some engineers on my hands.

Post Coming

2011-04-19T08:27:00.001-07:00

I know I need to get on it, but in a teacher's world we are experiencing the finals....CST testing. For those not in the state of California that would be the biggest test of the year. It determines so much for our schools and really for us as teachers. We fight against every obstacle all year long to teach and mold young minds and this is our measure by which we are graded. Is it right/fair? I don't know, but it is what it is and therefore stress runs high and I go home exhausted. But I have some pics and posts coming up, so don't be distressed my 5 faithful followers.

Thoughts

2011-04-14T15:04:00.000-07:00

This word has been on my mind a lot this week. Perhaps because I am feeling the call to pray more. The Mr. and I began reading or I should say re-reading a book called Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. It goes through the Christian disciplines that we should be incorporating every day. The first one is meditation...I am no so good at that. My mind can't seem to stay still enough to truly focus, but I am continuing to practice. The second one is prayer. (By the way he splits them into 3 categories: inner, outer, and corporate)

What is prayer and how do we do it?

Prayer (pray) is simple. It is talking to God. We do it by talking to God. I know...complicated. Not really, but for some reason we make it out to be more than it needs to be be. There are so many people who are nervous about praying, but reality is God just wants to spend the time with you. He wants to hear your heart, the good and the bad. He is never surprised by what we think about Him or others so I find it is best to be honest about it from the start.

But back to where I started....I stink at praying....there I said it. In everything I have ever read about people who were the closest to God, the common factor is they spent some quality time with Jesus and a lot of time there as well. I am finding that I struggle spending 5 minutes in prayer. Why is it so hard? I don't really know...I am working that one out. But in the journey to be more like Christ I have been challenging myself to have an attitude of prayer where what I say with my eyes closed or with others is really a prayer to God. That way I am praying all the time.

Then there is another aspect of praying I am working on. Recently, a string of events has come up and I find no other place to go, but to the Lord. He knows my heart and I never have to explain...I just talk, but I am sick of praying for me. My life is so great compared to others and even if others are like me it just feels better to lift my eyes up from my own issues and focus my prayers on others issues. There is something about standing in the gap for someone else, taking their needs to God on behalf of them.

Why do we need to pray though?

Prayer changes things. It either changes me and my heart or the situation. It does things that in my own strength I could not. But I am weak and forgetful (like some people I know in the Bible), I think that somehow I can do it. No, I cannot. I have seen God work miracles in my life and the lives of other so I know that prayer works.

Hopefully, I can learn how to place myself continually at the feet of the cross and talk to the One who loves me more than I can ever imagine.

Image borrowed from here

To help me practice why don't you leave a request for me. If it is specific we might see God move in an amazing way. If you want to share, but are worried about sharing over the Internet e-mail me.

Embrace the Camera

2011-04-13T07:37:00.000-07:00

Life has certainly tried to dissuade me in posting, but here we go...Embrace the Camera day. Every morning I go into to get #4 and he greets me with a high pitched "hi". He is so fun. This picture was taken by #1 so excuse the angle, but again that may be what the day is about. Capture the moment, from here on out I will have a picture from an awkward angle, but I will know my oldest took it.

Happy Wednesday!!!

Attempt

2011-04-12T03:28:00.000-07:00

This last weekend I attempted to make homemade yogurt. I am not the type to really do things like this, but it seemed easy enough. I put a gallon of whole milk in my crock pot and cooked on low for 3 hours. Then I let it sit for another 3 hours. Next, I added a cup of plain yogurt to the mixture. Then I wrapped the whole thing in a large beach towel and let it be for a whole night.

I need a final picture, but the last step I wasn't able to really do. That is strain it so you have the good thick stuff. It is like Greek yogurt, but a lot cheaper. So here is where I need some help. How would you strain the yogurt? If you have a thought let me know. I have three containers full of yogurt, but it is a little runny and needs to be strained.

Someday

2011-04-11T18:56:00.001-07:00

You thought I forgot to blog today. Nope, just a little later than usual. That is what happens when I get back on school time. Any who, just wanted to show you a little peek at our life. This morning Adam sent me a text with a picture of #4 in the mess of this. Oh joy, we have reached the stage of mischief and mayhem. What cracked me up the most was when I was talking to #3 about it. He shared that his little brother had done this and we will need to "clean it up someday". I love it because it shows his priority of cleaning. It doesn't have to be done today, but someday. In all honesty he may like it better because he can get to the shirts he like faster.

Empty drawer

Full Floor

My "someday" will be this evening. I guess it gives me another chance to continue to purge this house of unnecessary items.

Are we in the city or the country?

2011-04-08T03:11:00.000-07:00

I have a coworker (who is also #3's K teacher and was #1's teacher as well) who owns a horse so yesterday we went over to her place and got to ride Hershey.

Here are the boys waiting their turn.

I don't know, perhaps next year's Christmas card?

Every one got a chance to ride (including myself, but guess who is the photographer for the family)

We were able to walk around and see other horses and animals. The boys are petting the miniature horse, Sunshine. She was very friendly. #3 thought this was great horse, just his size. There were chickens everywhere. These baby chicks were so cute.

Then we were able to help brush and clean Hershey up.

That is when #4 got his turn on the horse.

We took a small detour to find some longhorns. Wait, am I in Texas or California? I love seeing the little ones make the effort to be with his "bruders". He loves them to pieces and never wants them to be too far from him. (you see his boots? a must for boys who ride horses)

It was a fun family adventure, but sadly our week has come to an end. My goal though is not to get lost at work and try to keep up to date with the blog.

How I love Spring Break

2011-04-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

The first thing we did (after the going to Home Depot) was get some books. I was not excited to go because I knew we had a fine from the summer and I was ashamed and embarrassed to have to pay, but I sucked it up and went in. I am glad we did. We got so many good books (and movies). The boys love the newness of having something good to read and I love the fact that they want to read. #2 trying to hid in his book. He is not reading chapter books yet, but likes to pretend to right now. I am currently reading him Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. We have 4 more chapters to go.

#1 is my reader. He found some great books. He is in a contest at school to read so he has to get on it. He is sitting on the couch without cushions because they get taken off on a regular basis to build forts and barricades.

#3 was even happy to get some books to read.

Yesterday we went over to some friends' house got to explore the area "over the fence". It is a boy's paradise. We got muddy and saw all kinds of birds, plants, and bugs.

I kind of like this shot and kind of don't. Here are the two older boys contemplating their plan of exploring.

This is what is "over the fence". A giant flood plain. We went way past those trees in the distance. I was proud that #3 made it all the way without whining or complaining.

It wouldn't be a good hike if you didn't have to cross a tree bridge. (there was a safer way which we took, but they loved it)

Here are the kiddos stretched out marching back. I love this because it shows all of them (minus her youngest and my youngest)

I am loving Spring Break. It is giving me a taste of summer and I like it. This may not be good for the last few weeks of work. I should start mentally preparing to go back, but I think I will wait till Sunday. :)

Embrace the Camera

2011-04-06T03:28:00.000-07:00

I told you I was going to be trying to do this every week. It is not easy to wrangle all four and get them all looking at the same place. This is the best we could do. This was just outside the Lego store in Downtown Disney.

Spring Break Day 1

2011-04-05T03:01:00.000-07:00

I have been itching to get my garden going this year. I didn't do one last year and the year before that it was just too crazy for me to even handle. I have no green thumb, but the thought of growing my own food has always appealed to me. So here is what I did so I can pretend I am a gardener. First I started off when a good piece of land. I claim no responsibility for the quality of this dirt. My wonderful green thumb of a husband took great care. My part was to rid it of the weeds and the sunflowers that kept popping up. (those things grow large and tall and take over)

Next I had to think of some way to keep Hershey, our nosy beagle, out of the garden. Now there really is no way to keep her out. This dog has the jumping and climbing capabilities of Spider Man, but I figure if there is just some type of barrier it might prevent her from laying in the dirt or on my plants. So I got some stakes and some twine. I measured and of course took pictures because it is such a great real life math lesson on perimeter.

See, she has complete access.

"What, I promise to be good"

After hammering the stakes I began to weave my twine in a way that I thought was cute and practical.

Then I bought a few plants already ready and then some seeds.

We shall see how long they stay alive. I am notorious for killing plants. These are tomatoes and tomatillos that I planted. I planted seeds of watermelon (at the request of #2 and #3 who absolutely love it), onion (I hope, there was some seed confusion), lettuce, and jalapenos. I'll keep you updated on the growing. Wow, though, there were so many metaphors that popped in my mind about God and us while planting. I will spare you them all , but it is amazing how God uses concrete examples to show us our deep need of Him.

Birthday Celebration

2011-04-04T03:38:00.000-07:00

We kicked off Spring Break this last Friday night with taking #1 out for his birthday celebration. We have made the decision to alternate years for party. On the off year of the party, they get to choose where they want to eat. He chose ESPN Zone which is a great place for my budding sports guy, but it was 1 1/2 hour to 2 hour wait...uh no thanks. We then went to Rainforest Cafe, same thing. We ended up eating at the taco place . It worked out perfectly. You can tell that my camera skills are still being worked on.

Watching the fountain do its dance.

Then off to shopping. This is the boy form of Build-A-Bear called Ride Makerz. You get to build a remote control car. They loved it, but we didn't get a car. It was still fun to play.

One of the only ways to keep track of this guy. He is everywhere.

Next stop was the Lego store. Again, lots of fun choices, but we ended up with 2 key chains (one of which got left in a Sonic bathroom 30 minutes later)

Really this is more of a store for him. He is my lego builder.

He though is not ok with heights. Just a little worried about falling.

Dad came to the rescue.

Our last activity was to drive some boats. Fun times.

It was a very enjoyable evening despite all the people. We had no agenda and no one to please but ourselves. That makes for non stressed parents.

Worship (part 2 of however many it takes)

2011-04-01T14:38:00.000-07:00

This is just a cheesy photo of myself. One of the boys took this.

Feel free to poke fun. :)

You thought I had fallen off the wagon for blogging....I haven't :) So let me tell you a new tactic I have been using in my house. You will see how it pertains to worship here in a sec. Have you had those days when all the kids seem to be doing is fighting or those moments where you yourself are in a funk which causes you to be a punk to the rest of your family? Well, I have. I deal with kids all day as a teacher so when I get home and have to deal with the same whiny behavior or have the million excuses to why they can't do _________ or have to tell them for the 10th time to get something done, I become unraveled pretty quickly. My new tactic to fight my urge to pull my hair out or run away has been to turn on the ipod to worship songs. Why not just turn on any old music? Because not all songs will center me back to my dying to self place I need to be. I have found that once the music comes on peace magically appears.

Why is this the case? Something I am learning is how to welcome the Holy Spirit into my house. The fruits or attributes of Him are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are all traits I want flowing in, through, and out of our house. Worship is the avenue that allows the Spirit to come which in turn brings these traits in. When I turn the music on, kids begin to dance and sing. It is hard to sing about an amazing God and then yell at a brother. It is hard to watch #4 get his groove on and hold anger towards another family member or the leftover funk of the day. All the junk we are feeling tends to lift off our backs and we are put in the presence of Jesus who desires to take on our burdens and cares.

I challenge you to try it. If you don't have any worship songs on your I-Tunes then use Pandora. It's free. Type in Chris Tomlin or Matt Redman or Hillsong or at least that is where I would start.

Sleep

2011-03-31T03:28:00.000-07:00

This is one time of day that I can either love or hate. Tonight I am loving it because they were worn out and bedtime with pretty good. They are cute babes. Other nights I hate it. After telling #3 to go back to bed for the millionth time I am ready to glue him to his bed. (not really, figure of speech) Just in case you were wondering, I have no tips to getting kids to bed and to keep them there. Each child deals with it differently so go with the way the child is. When all else fails, give them a toy and tell them to stay in their bed, but even that doesn't always work. Good luck, and good night!

Embrace the Camera

2011-03-30T03:23:00.000-07:00

Me and #3

(I had to wrestle him for a picture)

I have been challenged recently to get from behind the camera to in front of the camera. Throughout the years, I have been the one who takes the pictures. (I have control issues) I want my boys to have pictures with their mommy even if I have to force them, like this little turkey. (He is so much fun and a constant joy) What has been the hardest for me is to accept how I look now. Having four babies has done a number on my body and well, I am not too comfortable with what I look like. I hope to change that, but it looks like for now, I need to accept who I am and move on. I will make a valiant effort to make Wednesdays my "Embrace the Camera" day.

Here is one post that inspired me. See if you too can "Embrace the Camera" and then link up with Emily. ( have to figure that one out too. There are some things I am not quite sure of in blog land)

Birthday Bliss

2011-03-29T03:10:00.000-07:00

I HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD!!!! How did this happen? He just kept growing and growing. Today is #1's birthday. His last year as a single digit. He is an amazing boy with an "old" soul. He loves to be with people. He has a compassionate heart for those who are hurting. He is a goof ball times 10 and a wonderful big brother. Adam and I can count on him to be in charge and make sure that all brothers are safe. He is a worrier and a screen fanatic. He loves football with a passion. Most importantly though, he is OUR son, our first born. We had the privilege to learn how to be parents with him. Man, those were long ago days. At the time, I was "working" for California Baptist University. He was my side kick. He went with me to work (I guess he still does :)) We would go to the caf and eat with my friends or girls that I was meeting. I made a little space for him under my desk to keep him occupied, but he would rather be about talking or hanging around people. He is precious. My prayer is that he will continue to grow and become the man that we are teaching him to be. Happy Birthday #1!!!!!! See, he is a goof ball.

Marriage

2011-03-28T03:03:00.000-07:00

For the past several months my mind has been on marriage. Adam and I have done some real hard work in regards to making our marriage one that God is pleased with and one that we are BOTH happy in. It has not come without some baggage and some retraining of hearts and minds. We are still in the thick of it. I am thankful for some amazing women who are walking with me through this and for some amazing men who are walking with Adam. They push us to examine our hearts. They cause us to draw closer to the one who loves without strings. Jesus is the perfect husband and always speaks to my heart. He loves me with a love that know no bounds. Because I have that, I am able to release Adam to grow in his role as husband. I don't pray for him near enough and am still learning what it means to be a Godly wife. We hope to only make our marriage better with each decade that passes.

Please know that we are no where near perfect. We still argue and get mad, but forgiveness comes quicker. Fights are less frequent. I was reading one of my daily blogs and saw this post. I thought it was a perfect way to describe how God can redeem a broken and falling apart marriage. I know that ours was not horrible, but God has certainly redeemed it to be more that I thought it would ever be.

To the Heart

2011-03-25T03:28:00.000-07:00

(Doesn't this look peaceful)

Disclaimer: Today is a little wordy, but again that is what happens when I am trying to share the heart. I tried to add some pictures, but the blogger was being werid.

So today I was checking in with My Utmost for His Highest....one of my go to devotionals. (I am always amazed with how much they speak right to my heart.)

So here is today's.

He must increase, but I must decrease —John 3:30

If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, “This person should not have to experience this difficulty.” Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, “You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him.”

Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing. “. . . the friend of the bridegroom . . . rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:29-30). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness-at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.

Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34).

So you see I have a problem. My problem is I am a fixer....I want to fix things and be the solution to the problem. I am learning (present tense) that I cannot fix....I can only give it to God. I cannot be some one's Savior.....only Jesus can. I love to help and problem solve, but there are some problems that aren't mine to solve and some that I can't solve.

This has been keeping me up at night lately. I told the Mr. that on the outside and even about an inch deep. I am peaceful and know God is going to pull through, but my core (the inside) is a nervous wreck...I can feel it and as much as I am trying to make it calm, I can't. So lately I have been asking for the peace that passes all understanding to guard my heart and mind.
Philippians 4:6-7 (the NLT version is a great reading)

A Day

2011-03-24T04:20:00.000-07:00

So in the effort to be real, I thought I would post about my day. Because of childcare issues, I had to stay home with the kiddos today. It was quite a busy day. I had given myself the task to get some rooms deep cleaned on top of trying to help #1 finish a project for school which meant a trip to the museum and teaching him how to do power point. So let's take a journey through what being at home today was like with my four very wonderful boys...(do ya hear the sarcasm?)(I really do love my boys...I do.)

Hmmm...chairs turned away from each other. Could it be that two brothers needed a time out and couldn't even look at each other?

Oh yes...that is blue colored pencil all around the couch. (if anyone has any suggestions to get it out feel free to comment) Good thing our couches are not new nor in very good condition thanks to these very wonderful boys.

Could this be the boy who decided to mark the couch up in time out? Could this also be the 2 year old who didn't want to take a nap and therefore gets into all kinds of trouble when he is tired?

The never ending mound of laundry that I was trying to do while all kinds of shenanigans were going on....I was also cleaning bathrooms and bedrooms.

Bickering boys.....caught in the action.

It was a tough day...I wish I could say that I remained calm and we came to a peaceful solution to all problems. Not so much. There might have been some yelling....there might have been some overlooking because I just didn't have it in me to be the peacemaker one more time. Let's just say we made it today. All are in their beds, almost asleep. I am on the couch asking God to forgive my weak moments. Life with four boys is nuts....I love it, but then there are days like today and I wonder what we were thinking. And as my friend Nate says (they also have 4) "we weren't!"

Yeah for tomorrows, when we can start all over.

Forts

2011-03-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

When the weather turns cold here (which in so Cal that means 50s and 60s) we get inside. My boys love to build forts....well, #1 usually is the master builder while #2, #3, and #4 enjoy or destroy the creation. Most often #1 will build a separate fort for #3 and #4 and set up some communication system between the two. Boys.....
Here is a moment where they where all were enjoying the fort and watching a movie or something at the same time. A rare moment of stillness and peace.

On another note, I think my couch cushions are taken off at least once a day. It is a continual job to put cushions and the chairs back in the right place. Oh the joy of being Mom.

Blog Envy

2011-03-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

Oh you know you have experienced it...I was reading a post from my friend and it hit me that one of the main reasons I hesitate to post is blog envy. I don't really have anything great to offer the world, no decorating talent, no spend thriftiness, or craftiness really. I am a wannabe/poser. Well, I am just going to be honest about it. I love reading this blog and this blog, and this one is just simply amazing. I enjoy reading how life happens here and here. But the problem is that when I read these blogs plus the others that I am addicted to, I find myself paralyzed with fear that what I have to offer it just not of any value. Can you see the lies that I have believed?

I really shouldn't care about what others do or what mine looks like. It is about what God is showing and teaching me through my family and really the rest of my life and reflecting that through my blog? So I have made a promise to be more real with myself and start posting what is going on on the inside and not just the outside. You may be shocked to find that it isn't pretty. I am broken just like the rest of humanity (praise God for his grace, Amen?). I will also post about the army of men my husband and I are trying to raise to be men who love Jesus whole heartedly.

So there I am....exposed and fearful, but I need to be and do what is scary. Here's a pic of #4 seeing how it wouldn't be a real post without a picture.

Cousin C

2011-03-21T02:34:00.000-07:00

We got to have Cousin C for a whole day at our place. He was completely exhausted by the end of the day. He had a great time exploring the house and playing with his cousins.

Life

2011-03-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

Can I be honest and say that life it a little overwhelming lately? It isn't even because I am so busy...that was my before life. I have taken great strides to cut out what I don't need to do. I found myself doing things just because I felt guilty if I didn't. You see, I am one of the types that thinks I have to "do" in order to make God be OK with me. This past summer and fall, God taught that 1. I can never "do" enough and 2. He's good with me just as I am. Wow!!!! How freeing!!! It was such a huge message for me to accept and take in. I still fight that old self that says "you should be doing more at the church" or "you should be in prayer/bible study more" It was one of the first times in my life that I felt like I could breathe and be free.

The old self though rears its ugly head every now and then. Four kids, house, and work are enough to keep me busy. We just have had a few extra stresses lately and well, I am not handling it well. I can tell because I want to have a Dr. Pepper all the time. That may seem crazy, but it is my addiction. When life gets stressful have a DP and then it seems manageable. Whoa!!! Hold the phone. DP shouldn't be what I turn to. Jesus should. So I have been trying to cut back and cut it out of my life. Yet, here I am with my crazy life. (not too crazy, but crazy circumstances) I feel like God is big enough to take care of it, but somehow my mind and heart haven't come together on this.

Pray that I will depend on God instead of my DP or any other "thing". I want to love him with my whole person and not part.

Worship (a several parts series)

2011-03-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

So I can going to be brave and begin to "be real". I attend a wonderful church called Sandals. It has been one catalyst to my growth as a Christian these past couple of years. It has every aspect of what true Christian should be. Does it mean we do it perfectly? No, of course not. Every church is imperfect, but we at least admit it. I look forward to going and seeing how God is going to change my or prompt me to action. Lately, I have been learning alot about worship.

What is worship? Well, it is giving our attention and adoration to someone or something. We all worship. Sometimes it is our jobs, kids, house, or spouse. Sometimes, I think I worship worship.

Needless to say God is showing me that when I turn my eyes on him and sit at his feet, life gets put into perspective. I feel all the weight leave my shoulders as I pass that to him and I get to rest in his peace and freedom.

So I want to leave you with our sermon from the last week. It was amazing. I was so glad that I got to be a part.

The Lord's Supper: Worship from sandals church on Vimeo.

What can you live without?

2011-03-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

I was doing my daily reading of blogs (my new favorite past time) when I came across this post by Meg. I love reading her because she is very real and she has a lot of kids. Needless to say I have been challenged with the thought of giving something up every month. It seems difficult and hard, but in the end I think/hope it will be a blessing.

I needed some change in my life

2011-03-08T00:29:00.000-08:00

Not the best picture, but I cut my hair off and had the lady straighten it. I really like, but am anxious to see how short it will be when curly. It was so fun to make people do a double take. #4 was unsure if I was his mommy. You know it's drastic then.

Cousin C

2011-03-07T04:17:00.000-08:00

It is not a shocker that my kids are totally in love with their cousin. He is pretty darn cute and so funny. He is usually swarmed by the Atchison brothers and has to get himself situated to the chaos of our house. He loves #1 and why not....he has tons of practice with babies.

"What are all the boys staring at?"

"Cool hat cuz!"

Boy Band in the Making

2011-03-06T16:13:00.000-08:00

We have some pretty cool boys who love to rock out to music. I am afraid they have acquired their father's taste in music, but I will keep trying. #1 and #4 are usually the first to listen and dance to the music, but I love to hear #2 and #3 sing their songs. Most importantly though I am hoping to cultivate an atmosphere of worship. They see mom dance and sing all the time so hopefully that will catch.

Sunset

2011-02-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

In So Cal we rarely have clouds. It is just the way it is so when one comes along it is an amazing site. This is a sunset from a week and a half ago. Outside was just covered in a pink hue. I thought I was wearing rose colored glasses. We had another one last Sunday that brought tears to my eyes because it was so beautiful. It was a wonderful present from God. He was so loving to send it. Aren't sunsets the best?

A boys world

2011-02-20T13:49:00.000-08:00

I have accepted the fact that my world will be a boys world. It just amazes me how quick they learn these things. Planes, trains, and automobiles. In our house it is mostly cars....of all shapes and sizes and purposes. Here is #4. One of his favorite things to do is play with cars. He rolls them up and down our big window. He even knows how to make a car noise. #3 could make the car noise before he could really talk. It just is in the jeans. Needless to say, we are really excited about Cars 2 coming our this summer.

2011-02-19T09:56:00.000-08:00

This is #4 saying "HI!" He misses being in blogland. His mommy has been trying to simplify her life and blogging has had to come last. It appears that life has taken over and she has no control over the natives. She likes it this way and hopes to lose control frequently.

Parenting

2011-01-12T11:29:00.000-08:00

I realize that I have not been as faithful to keep up with the blog, but I can tell you that there have been changes inside of me over these past few months. If I were to write about them I am afraid all of it will come spilling out and I am not quite ready to share. I will be, but not today.

Today I was perusing Facebook because that is who I am and found this article posted by a friend. It was so true. I find that I am at my wits end when it comes to raising children. They seem to push every button I have and then I end up doing things I later regret. Not crazy stuff, but not the things I wish. I am learning that I have to be living in God's grace before I can even get to be the parent I want. I have to be able to love them like Jesus loves me. (This is something my husband said recently) How does he love? Unselfishly, unwaveringly (is this even a word), and with lots of patience. The other thing I am realizing is that whatever I want them to learn I must be doing myself. If I want them to be generous, am I doing it? If I want them to be respectful, am I modeling it? If I want them to clean up, how does my room look? Parenting is tough. I know that I will never do it right, but praise God that He can cover all the wrongs.

New Year

2011-01-02T07:54:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted in awhile. I can tell you all the reasons why, but it seems like I am making excuses and there are no reasons to make excuses. All Christmas break I have wanted to post, but know that God really wanted me to be honest and vulnerable and well, I just didn't want to do that. I have written what I wanted to say in my head, but never put it down so here we go. (I will put pictures in because what is a post without pictures?)

Aren't they cute? They are, but they are a lot of work. Parenting is not easy and it really is not easy when you want to build integrity, respect, hard work, and love into their lives. Part of my struggles have been that I have to work. I enjoy work, but I think if I had my "perfect" life I would be home. Now I want to stop and pause. Did you notice the word perfect...? Yes, perfectionism. That is a battle I face almost every day. There is a part of me that says you can do it right, have it all done perfect. This gets me into so much trouble. I find that I become disappointed quickly and stress easily if things seems to be going a way that I don't think they should. I have struggled with this from a very early age. I remember if something didn't happen the way I thought it should I would cry, pout, or be mad. Well, I will say I have made some progress, but deep down I still want it be the way I think it should be.

While raising four boys though, I find that my plans get dashed to pieces really quick. I am learning how that is ok and I need to find space for them to be who they are and have them accept that sometimes it has to go my way as well. This plays out when I'm planning memorable moments for our family. I made have timed it wrong or someone is just in a yucky mood. It is in those moments I must relinquish my control. Really that is what it all boils down to anyway, control. I like control. I like to control the experiences my children have and what they encounter. Reality check...impossible to do. So I am learning how to let God have my children and trust Him to take care of them. My job is to help them work through the stuff that happens to them. I have to teach them how to respond when someone hurts their feelings or when they are faced with their own failures. It is easy to see this with children, but what about when it comes to me and my junk.

My loving husband says I have the spiritual gift of comparison. (that's not a real gift btw) I have to agree. I love to read blogs and see how many talented people there are, but the problem comes when I want to become that person as well. I begin a process of thoughts that get me depressed and sad about where I am. Some examples of this is "why can't I do that?" "Look at her, why can't I look like that?" "Her house is beautiful, why can't I make that or do that or create that?" It is in the moments that I have to STOP, and remember who God created me to be. And to be honest, I am relearning this. In the midst of work and family I have lost some of this. There are definite passions that are being awakened, but I am learning what it means to be me with all the roles that I play now. I am no where near being "arrived", but am starting to take the steps needed. Without Christ I would be nothing and have no idea where to start. GRACE is the most precious thing for me right now. He is covering all the mistakes I am making along the way and loving me for who I am now and He knows who I am going to be when I am perfected in His Presence. So there it is all laid out for you. There is so much more to share, but I think I will stop here.

Happy New Year!!!!

The Great Card Debaucle - Updated

2010-11-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

It's that time again when I make my family somewhat coordinate their clothes and take the annual Christmas picture. It comes with lots of drama, but I think I will look back on the pictures and reminisce about days gone by. I am always looking for a good deal so when I saw the Shutterfly deal I decided I would try it out. 50 free cards is good, especially for those of us on a budget and who have lots of friends. I have used Shutterfly to develop some of my photos in previous years so I know that it is a trusted site. They are also always having deals for free pictures. The emails come frequently. There are so many Christmas cards to pick from and you can even choose by color (which I love). I may even decide to do calendars for the grandparents this year. The cool thing is it doesn't have to stop at Christmas. If I can't get it done quick enough, I may do a New Year's Card. (www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationary/new-years-cards)

One reason I love to send photo cards is because I love to get them. Our family uses them to make a prayer photo album. It teaches my children to think about others and their needs instead of constantly thinking about themselves. (what a concept) Anyway, check out Shutterfly and see what you think.

Peace

2010-11-23T20:08:00.000-08:00

This is such a beautiful picture to me. Three boys playing together and no one is arguing or fighting. Let me explain...it seems like the older two can do nothing but tattle tale on each other or compete to see who can be the best. There is nothing wrong with a little competition. They are boys after all, but one of the things we want to teach our children is how to respect each other and how to put themselves last. There have been many days when I thought I would lose my mind. Even this afternoon it was constant, but then, redemption. May I say it again? This is a beautiful picture to me.

(By the way the game they are playing is called Zingo. It was super fun and even Asher was able to play. Two would work on the cards and one would slide. The took turns. There are some advantages to having lots of siblings)

Oklahoma Sunrise

2010-11-20T11:56:00.001-08:00

As I said in the previous post our main reason for going was to honor Adam's grandpa. He was a Southern Baptist preacher for over 40 years. He lived a good life serving others. One request he had was to have his ashes spread in a nearby lake. We all gathered to say our final goodbyes and send him off with the fish he never caught.

(taken by my bro-in-law)