Sleep

This is one time of day that I can either love or hate. Tonight I am loving it because they were worn out and bedtime with pretty good. They are cute babes. Other nights I hate it. After telling #3 to go back to bed for the millionth time I am ready to glue him to his bed. (not really, figure of speech) Just in case you were wondering, I have no tips to getting kids to bed and to keep them there. Each child deals with it differently so go with the way the child is. When all else fails, give them a toy and tell them to stay in their bed, but even that doesn't always work. Good luck, and good night!

Embrace the Camera

Me and #3

(I had to wrestle him for a picture)

I have been challenged recently to get from behind the camera to in front of the camera. Throughout the years, I have been the one who takes the pictures. (I have control issues) I want my boys to have pictures with their mommy even if I have to force them, like this little turkey. (He is so much fun and a constant joy) What has been the hardest for me is to accept how I look now. Having four babies has done a number on my body and well, I am not too comfortable with what I look like. I hope to change that, but it looks like for now, I need to accept who I am and move on. I will make a valiant effort to make Wednesdays my "Embrace the Camera" day.

Here is one post that inspired me. See if you too can "Embrace the Camera" and then link up with Emily. ( have to figure that one out too. There are some things I am not quite sure of in blog land)

Birthday Bliss

I HAVE A 9 YEAR OLD!!!! How did this happen? He just kept growing and growing. Today is #1's birthday. His last year as a single digit. He is an amazing boy with an "old" soul. He loves to be with people. He has a compassionate heart for those who are hurting. He is a goof ball times 10 and a wonderful big brother. Adam and I can count on him to be in charge and make sure that all brothers are safe. He is a worrier and a screen fanatic. He loves football with a passion. Most importantly though, he is OUR son, our first born. We had the privilege to learn how to be parents with him. Man, those were long ago days. At the time, I was "working" for California Baptist University. He was my side kick. He went with me to work (I guess he still does :)) We would go to the caf and eat with my friends or girls that I was meeting. I made a little space for him under my desk to keep him occupied, but he would rather be about talking or hanging around people. He is precious. My prayer is that he will continue to grow and become the man that we are teaching him to be. Happy Birthday #1!!!!!! See, he is a goof ball.

Marriage

For the past several months my mind has been on marriage. Adam and I have done some real hard work in regards to making our marriage one that God is pleased with and one that we are BOTH happy in. It has not come without some baggage and some retraining of hearts and minds. We are still in the thick of it. I am thankful for some amazing women who are walking with me through this and for some amazing men who are walking with Adam. They push us to examine our hearts. They cause us to draw closer to the one who loves without strings. Jesus is the perfect husband and always speaks to my heart. He loves me with a love that know no bounds. Because I have that, I am able to release Adam to grow in his role as husband. I don't pray for him near enough and am still learning what it means to be a Godly wife. We hope to only make our marriage better with each decade that passes.

Please know that we are no where near perfect. We still argue and get mad, but forgiveness comes quicker. Fights are less frequent. I was reading one of my daily blogs and saw this post. I thought it was a perfect way to describe how God can redeem a broken and falling apart marriage. I know that ours was not horrible, but God has certainly redeemed it to be more that I thought it would ever be.

To the Heart

(Doesn't this look peaceful)

Disclaimer: Today is a little wordy, but again that is what happens when I am trying to share the heart. I tried to add some pictures, but the blogger was being werid.

So today I was checking in with My Utmost for His Highest....one of my go to devotionals. (I am always amazed with how much they speak right to my heart.)

So here is today's.

He must increase, but I must decrease —John 3:30


If you become a necessity to someone else’s life, you are out of God’s will. As a servant, your primary responsibility is to be a “friend of the bridegroom” (John 3:29). When you see a person who is close to grasping the claims of Jesus Christ, you know that your influence has been used in the right direction. And when you begin to see that person in the middle of a difficult and painful struggle, don’t try to prevent it, but pray that his difficulty will grow even ten times stronger, until no power on earth or in hell could hold him away from Jesus Christ. Over and over again, we try to be amateur providences in someone’s life. We are indeed amateurs, coming in and actually preventing God’s will and saying, “This person should not have to experience this difficulty.” Instead of being friends of the Bridegroom, our sympathy gets in the way. One day that person will say to us, “You are a thief; you stole my desire to follow Jesus, and because of you I lost sight of Him.”

Beware of rejoicing with someone over the wrong thing, but always look to rejoice over the right thing. “. . . the friend of the bridegroom . . . rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:29-30). This was spoken with joy, not with sadness-at last they were to see the Bridegroom! And John said this was his joy. It represents a stepping aside, an absolute removal of the servant, never to be thought of again.

Listen intently with your entire being until you hear the Bridegroom’s voice in the life of another person. And never give any thought to what devastation, difficulties, or sickness it will bring. Just rejoice with godly excitement that His voice has been heard. You may often have to watch Jesus Christ wreck a life before He saves it (see Matthew 10:34).


So you see I have a problem. My problem is I am a fixer....I want to fix things and be the solution to the problem. I am learning (present tense) that I cannot fix....I can only give it to God. I cannot be some one's Savior.....only Jesus can. I love to help and problem solve, but there are some problems that aren't mine to solve and some that I can't solve.

This has been keeping me up at night lately. I told the Mr. that on the outside and even about an inch deep. I am peaceful and know God is going to pull through, but my core (the inside) is a nervous wreck...I can feel it and as much as I am trying to make it calm, I can't. So lately I have been asking for the peace that passes all understanding to guard my heart and mind.
Philippians 4:6-7 (the NLT version is a great reading)

A Day

So in the effort to be real, I thought I would post about my day. Because of childcare issues, I had to stay home with the kiddos today. It was quite a busy day. I had given myself the task to get some rooms deep cleaned on top of trying to help #1 finish a project for school which meant a trip to the museum and teaching him how to do power point. So let's take a journey through what being at home today was like with my four very wonderful boys...(do ya hear the sarcasm?)(I really do love my boys...I do.)

Hmmm...chairs turned away from each other. Could it be that two brothers needed a time out and couldn't even look at each other?

Oh yes...that is blue colored pencil all around the couch. (if anyone has any suggestions to get it out feel free to comment) Good thing our couches are not new nor in very good condition thanks to these very wonderful boys.

Could this be the boy who decided to mark the couch up in time out? Could this also be the 2 year old who didn't want to take a nap and therefore gets into all kinds of trouble when he is tired?

The never ending mound of laundry that I was trying to do while all kinds of shenanigans were going on....I was also cleaning bathrooms and bedrooms.

Bickering boys.....caught in the action.

It was a tough day...I wish I could say that I remained calm and we came to a peaceful solution to all problems. Not so much. There might have been some yelling....there might have been some overlooking because I just didn't have it in me to be the peacemaker one more time. Let's just say we made it today. All are in their beds, almost asleep. I am on the couch asking God to forgive my weak moments. Life with four boys is nuts....I love it, but then there are days like today and I wonder what we were thinking. And as my friend Nate says (they also have 4) "we weren't!"

Yeah for tomorrows, when we can start all over.

Forts

When the weather turns cold here (which in so Cal that means 50s and 60s) we get inside. My boys love to build forts....well, #1 usually is the master builder while #2, #3, and #4 enjoy or destroy the creation. Most often #1 will build a separate fort for #3 and #4 and set up some communication system between the two. Boys.....
Here is a moment where they where all were enjoying the fort and watching a movie or something at the same time. A rare moment of stillness and peace.

On another note, I think my couch cushions are taken off at least once a day. It is a continual job to put cushions and the chairs back in the right place. Oh the joy of being Mom.

Blog Envy

Oh you know you have experienced it...I was reading a post from my friend and it hit me that one of the main reasons I hesitate to post is blog envy. I don't really have anything great to offer the world, no decorating talent, no spend thriftiness, or craftiness really. I am a wannabe/poser. Well, I am just going to be honest about it. I love reading this blog and this blog, and this one is just simply amazing. I enjoy reading how life happens here and here. But the problem is that when I read these blogs plus the others that I am addicted to, I find myself paralyzed with fear that what I have to offer it just not of any value. Can you see the lies that I have believed?



I really shouldn't care about what others do or what mine looks like. It is about what God is showing and teaching me through my family and really the rest of my life and reflecting that through my blog? So I have made a promise to be more real with myself and start posting what is going on on the inside and not just the outside. You may be shocked to find that it isn't pretty. I am broken just like the rest of humanity (praise God for his grace, Amen?). I will also post about the army of men my husband and I are trying to raise to be men who love Jesus whole heartedly.



So there I am....exposed and fearful, but I need to be and do what is scary. Here's a pic of #4 seeing how it wouldn't be a real post without a picture.

Cousin C

We got to have Cousin C for a whole day at our place. He was completely exhausted by the end of the day. He had a great time exploring the house and playing with his cousins.

Life

Can I be honest and say that life it a little overwhelming lately? It isn't even because I am so busy...that was my before life. I have taken great strides to cut out what I don't need to do. I found myself doing things just because I felt guilty if I didn't. You see, I am one of the types that thinks I have to "do" in order to make God be OK with me. This past summer and fall, God taught that 1. I can never "do" enough and 2. He's good with me just as I am. Wow!!!! How freeing!!! It was such a huge message for me to accept and take in. I still fight that old self that says "you should be doing more at the church" or "you should be in prayer/bible study more" It was one of the first times in my life that I felt like I could breathe and be free.

The old self though rears its ugly head every now and then. Four kids, house, and work are enough to keep me busy. We just have had a few extra stresses lately and well, I am not handling it well. I can tell because I want to have a Dr. Pepper all the time. That may seem crazy, but it is my addiction. When life gets stressful have a DP and then it seems manageable. Whoa!!! Hold the phone. DP shouldn't be what I turn to. Jesus should. So I have been trying to cut back and cut it out of my life. Yet, here I am with my crazy life. (not too crazy, but crazy circumstances) I feel like God is big enough to take care of it, but somehow my mind and heart haven't come together on this.

Pray that I will depend on God instead of my DP or any other "thing". I want to love him with my whole person and not part.

Worship (a several parts series)

So I can going to be brave and begin to "be real". I attend a wonderful church called Sandals. It has been one catalyst to my growth as a Christian these past couple of years. It has every aspect of what true Christian should be. Does it mean we do it perfectly? No, of course not. Every church is imperfect, but we at least admit it. I look forward to going and seeing how God is going to change my or prompt me to action. Lately, I have been learning alot about worship.

What is worship? Well, it is giving our attention and adoration to someone or something. We all worship. Sometimes it is our jobs, kids, house, or spouse. Sometimes, I think I worship worship.

Needless to say God is showing me that when I turn my eyes on him and sit at his feet, life gets put into perspective. I feel all the weight leave my shoulders as I pass that to him and I get to rest in his peace and freedom.

So I want to leave you with our sermon from the last week. It was amazing. I was so glad that I got to be a part.

The Lord's Supper: Worship from sandals church on Vimeo.

What can you live without?

I was doing my daily reading of blogs (my new favorite past time) when I came across this post by Meg. I love reading her because she is very real and she has a lot of kids. Needless to say I have been challenged with the thought of giving something up every month. It seems difficult and hard, but in the end I think/hope it will be a blessing.

I needed some change in my life

Not the best picture, but I cut my hair off and had the lady straighten it. I really like, but am anxious to see how short it will be when curly. It was so fun to make people do a double take. #4 was unsure if I was his mommy. You know it's drastic then.

Cousin C

It is not a shocker that my kids are totally in love with their cousin. He is pretty darn cute and so funny. He is usually swarmed by the Atchison brothers and has to get himself situated to the chaos of our house. He loves #1 and why not....he has tons of practice with babies.

"What are all the boys staring at?"

"Cool hat cuz!"

Boy Band in the Making

We have some pretty cool boys who love to rock out to music. I am afraid they have acquired their father's taste in music, but I will keep trying. #1 and #4 are usually the first to listen and dance to the music, but I love to hear #2 and #3 sing their songs. Most importantly though I am hoping to cultivate an atmosphere of worship. They see mom dance and sing all the time so hopefully that will catch.